we, our, us

I have been married for ten days now. Married.

It has been the best, most beautiful, beginning of my life so far.  Most days I wake up and think, is this real life? Somewhere between drinking coffee with, and packing a lunch for, my best friend I have to pinch myself.  Forever looks bright as peace settles in.  The waves have already begun to come, but it's we who ride them now and that changes everything.

I see differently already.  I hear differently.  The past few days God has been building a message in me, for my husband -- for our lives.  It feels bigger now that someone else is involved.  Suddenly the words I'm given, the dreams I have, the things I pray, the promises I'm given and the Truth I see affect us.  As my current reality sets in I shake my head and smile; it's both the most exhilarating and the scariest adventure I've ever agreed to.  It's our trajectory that I have a picture of now.  It's our future that I plan for, dream about and discuss.

Today I'm going to start a conversation that has my stomach bursting with butterflies.  It's one I've wanted to have for days, but a gentle voice echoed "wait" in my heart.  Eager, my prayers each hour have been ones of "when? now? how?".  Assured, the steady response "you'll know" kept coming to my mind. This morning, by 6am, all the pieces fell into place before I had even opened my eyes.  Prayers have been answered in a way I couldn't have predicted or anticipated.  I'm not sure what is to come.  I can't predict how ideas will be received or where things go from here.  I just know this is obedience.  God is up to something; and His something(s) are always Good.  What a sweet, sweet journey we're on.

My husband is on his way home.  Here's to courage enough for today.

More Coffee Shop Ramblings

While in Chicago I've gotten the chance to continue serving coffee at a busy downtown Cafe. Though the line is usually as long as those at popular amusement parks, there is one gentleman who comes every Tuesday and Thursday for a small coffee and for more reason than one he has become a favorite of mine. I recently learned his name and a bit of his story, and he has since learned mine as well. Earlier this week however, he unintentionally challenged me in a way that only a friendly acquaintance could.

I was surprised but blessed when he sat across from me, after respectfully receiving permission, while I was enjoying a bagel and tea on my break. He had a genuine yet un-intrusive interest in sharing life with people as he'd just moved to the city. In his hands he held a bible, so I deemed "Where do you go to church?" as appropriate small talk. I was curious when he responded with "Moody Church" and continued to question. He then asked me to share about some of the churches I'd visited in Chicago and where I go now. I first asked if he's heard of "New Life Church" as there are about 12 throughout Chicago. He responded with a no. We exchanged for a bit about Spanish-speaking services and then I began to share my Soul City experience. I was joyfully diving into how unique it is to be part of a church plant when he interrupted to say "I'm sorry, I should've prefaced this conversation by saying I've only been Christian for about 7 months"; he paused to chuckle and went on saying, "So I'm not sure what New Life Church is, or what a church plant or launch is".

Whoa.

So (smiling, and wanting to eek that we'd been blessed to connect) I sincerely apologized and explained; clearing things as much as I could and pausing to answer any question.

But Whoa...

I couldn't help but stare into the mirror he'd metaphorically held up in front of my nose. How do I come off? What do I assume? How do my assumptions change the way I treat and talk to people? Have I gotten so used to the Christian bubble that I've become a snob? Had he exposed pride? Is my history transparent enough to be welcoming? Have I so quickly forgotten where I came from?

It was an honest mistake, but I don't believe my words are ultimately excusable. I don't wish for the things I say or the way I say them to make someone feel inferior. I'm forced to reassess whether I am sharing things in a way that suggests I'd like a pat on the back, or merely because my heart is bursting with urgency to invite others to join me. I know the words I speak come from the heart (Matthew 15:18) and so I'd be a fool to not address factors beyond the surface.

I'm to follow the example of Christ. I better get off my high horse and find a donkey!