Spring Semester Surprises

Professor McDuffee is, and I quote, "the proprietor of a t-shirt shop in Katmandu" in his mind. He went on to explain that he takes his controversial opinions and loaded thoughts and puts them on a t-shirt inside his head - sometimes "selling" them, (again this is all within the boundary of his brain), to those who could benefit from their advertised truths. "They're not hurting any one's feelings" he shrugged. HAHA! I'm reminded, at least three times a week, how uniquely brilliant the people I get to learn from really are. If we're all a little crazy, this man is my kind of crazy.

My former professor, current employer, and dear respected mentor, Dr. Sauer, has cancer. This might seem like a stark transition from the previous light-hearted surprise; however he is anything but heavy in spirit. This may not have been this 64year-old man's prediction or wish, but he is unshaken and challengingly hopeful. As someone who has taken to calling me "Ann" and greeting me with: "Are you persevering, my child?", I am encouraged even in one of his weakest hours. I prayerfully look forward to the ways this will deepen his dependence and grow our relationship.

I get the opportunity to have a second interview for a 2011-2012 RA position. This has been an unexpectedly exciting process. The application and first interview have already challenged me to look into a metaphorical mirror. Who do people see me as vs who do I want to be? Who am I presently vs. who am I created to be? How do I react to circumstances X, Y, and Z vs. how should I react? What do I like? What makes me angry? Why do I bother? It has provoked some discovery and I'm hopeful of what's to come.

get to the point

I'm in a writing class this semester under a professor that I very much respect... but her class is kicking my butt a little bit.

I got to sit down with her one-on-one today and walk through the first paper I submitted. When I received it back I felt guilty - as though I owed her 13 cents - because I'm fairly certain an unfair amount of red ink was used on my paper. It was actually quite comical.

And call me a nerd, but I grew eager with the challenge. I love writing. I knew I wasn't great, but I had no idea how much room I have for improvement.

My greatest grammatical weaknesses: redundancy, vagueness, unnecessarily dramatic transitions, and adjective over-use. Today my professor took entire groups of sentences in my paper and summed them up in one noun or verb. It was beautiful to watch her do this.

Far be it from my expectations, it helped to emphasize what was supposed to be emphasized and maintained readability and creativity.

She says all I need is practice.

We both hope she's right :P.

(dis)comfort, (dis)placement

This semester I took a class titled "Race, Poverty, and Social Justice". It's been an extremely good experience. Through books, discussions, and interactions I have come nose to nose with challenging thoughts and beliefs of mine and others - both consciously and unconsciously. I could've communicated before this class that race and class issues existed, but never have I come into contact with the depth and extent of the perpetual levels of mess involved.

Throughout the class we were assigned to make "excursions" to different parts of Chicago, displacing ourselves into another culture. We spent time, in groups, in Chinatown, Little Village (majority Mexican), the South side (majority African American), and near Devon (majority Middle-Eastern). The pictures in this blog are from those trips.

Yet even beyond the trips, I was challenged to analyze my every cross-cultural interaction. It was fascinating to seemingly unlock pieces of my heart as I sought awareness. As time has gone on, even within the semester, I have become eager to cross boundaries of class and race. I've pursued the uncomfortable as the value in risk has unfolded. It's as if I caught this unshakable bug that won't rest without people knowing they have worth; especially people whom the rest of the world has written off. I crave to touch the "untouchable".

And honestly I don't really know how to go about it all yet. I don't know the right or best way of appropriately loving strangers (more or less), but I'm chasing answers. I'm carefully prayerful about it as I'm convinced it's God's heart to see and love people right where they're at. I'm learning to be still in the midst of new contexts and exchanges, knowing discernment takes time. And finally I've concluded that as long as I'm at school in the city, I won't be satisfied unless I'm smothering it on me - and me on it!

One Month Gone, Many Lessons Gained

Lesson #1: How People React To You Is All About Context.
My PCM (weekly service act) this semester rocks. I'm serving with an organization called "By The Hand" (comparable to Boys&Girls Club) in an area of Chicago known as Cabrini-Green, which is notoriously a 'recovering-projects' type neighborhood. (Well actually the city is perhaps wiping it out entirely, but that's another story). So, I was walking there (with my backpack on, eating a tuna sandwich, and drinking from a milk carton); when an officer stopped me. He gave me a sort of 'Good Afternoon Miss, are you lost?'. I responded with "anything but" and a smile. Upon walking through the door of the organization, a familiar face introduced me to her manager. He responded with some clapping, jumping, and a gleeful “You’re a God-Send!” (Lol), and then he went on to make note of my favorite cookie and tease me about how white my name is.

Lesson #2: Fresh Perspective Can Do A Soul Some Good.
I can be rather selfish when I have a lot to do. It's as if I switch into some sort of auto-pilot mode, mindlessly juggling responsibilities. Under these circumstances, any unplanned interruptions usually get disregarded, ignored, or yelled at. But this past Wednesday my dear friend was taken by ambulance to a local Emergency Department. Needless to say, I spent the day there with her, erasing eight hours of agenda in a moment's notice (willingly). My window of perspective was literally shaken and shattered as I was forced to seriously take heart as to what matters. Does it really matter if I don't finish this reading, go to this class, attend this event, be at this practice, etc, etc? I was caught in the tragedy of realizing that I had made things about obligations, lists, and responsibilities. How ridiculously unfulfilling it is to live for and focus on such temporary items. If I want to live free of hypocrisy, it has to be about relationships; obedience, love, and selflessness.

Lesson #3: People have hidden talents :).

A friend of mine (Sarah) from the Vball team can paint toenails awesomely! I just couldn't resist sharing...

Lesson #4: Never say never!

So my immensely tight schedule really limited my class options for the semester. But I wasn't ready to settle for a light load as I'm still playing a little game of catch-up credit-wise. So after a couple conversations with professors and department chairs, I get to participate in a "directed study" this semester :D. Basically, I'll receive three credits to fulfill my "Ministry Skills Elective" requirement by reading/researching and writing about stuff my heart totally beats for. I'll be reading two Catherine Hamlin books, along with a book called "Half the Sky" and one titled "Shepherding Women in Pain". WHOO, WHOO, WHOO! I more or less get to design the class under supervision of a professor. AND I recently found a ministry that serves fistula women in the Congo whose base is in Chicago! (You can bet I'm going to interview them as my class project!) I'm also taking a class this semester called 'Race, Poverty, & Social Justice' which I can already tell I'm going to LOVE (and hate). And I'm taking Philosophy as well, which just makes me sweat :P. Really each of my classes this semester should be bomb.

Lesson #5: Today's joys may be tomorrow's therapy.
As the semester drops gears to "FULL FORCE" I am ever aware of the discipline that will be asked of me. I've got a lot on my plate... much by choice, some by obligation, and a bit out of requirement. Nonetheless, I'm thrilled & filled with anticipation. There will come a time in the semester when the overwhelmed-ness that is tying knots in my stomach will question ‘what have you gotten yourself into’, and threaten ‘you can’t do this’. But as for now, I’m expectant of the opportunities and experiences to come. So I take the initiative to type it out, in case I need to come back and remind myself just what privileges and joys are tucked into each corner of my life this fall.

Time Flys When You're Having Fun... No Really, It Does!

My new Roomie (Sarah/SJ) and I!

I have completed my first week at MBI, and what an adventure it’s been! I visited a new church, experienced the infamous Argo Tea, enjoyed the “ghetto” McDonalds twice, drove a couple girls and I to Target (through downtown Chicago), lost all of my Moody keys only to have them returned to me within 24 hours (hah), attended a seminar on how to get a job, learned the dos and don’ts as far as eating in the cafeteria goes, and mysteriously had my printer poop out on me. This was all besides attending classes, going to Chapels, doing homework, sleeping (a little), doing laundry, and exercising once (if not twice) a day!!!! PHEW!

My very first train ride, with Kia


Argo Tea with Chelsea!

Crazy birds under the heater at the train station, haha

I can tell that I’m really going to enjoy my time here. I already see my time filling with golden opportunities. It’s actually been incredibly difficult to pick and choose only some things. I plan to try out for the volleyball team, and that starts in a week or so! I’ve been physically working hard, and I’m nervous but hopeful… so we’ll see how that goes. I also want to join a group on campus called “Puente”; a Hispanic student group. They do some expected Spanish-student-group activities, but also service projects and missions, etc. This semester they plan on targeting a primarily Mexican group in South Chicago through different outreaches. We (MBI students) also received our Practical Christian Ministry (PCM) assignments this week. This is a pass/fail credit for each student on campus, requiring us to go out and serve each week. I’ll be taking part in an organization called Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF). I am thrilled about this. It is, more or less, a chance for me to teach publicly-schooled kids (in an after-school program) about their Creator. It’s once a week for two hours, and is treated similar to a year-long VBS. On top of all this, I should really apply for some jobs. Chicago offers a unique variety of places to be employed, so I’ve got to scope out my options a little first!

I have six classes for the semester: 1) Christian Missions, 2) Christianity & Western Culture I, 3) Bible Intro, 4) New Testament Survey, 5) History and Theology of Urban I, and 6) Understanding the City. My favorite classes will probably be Bible Intro and History and Theology of Urban. The professor for Bible Intro is perhaps one of the most entertaining men I have ever met; Dr. Sauer. He holds a sense of intensity that I can’t even put into words. Dr. Sauer has translated much of the bible himself, and so in class we use the SIV (Sauer Inspired Version). His plethora of knowledge is incredible, his life experience is humbling, his pursuit of God is encouraging, and his humongous heart for his students makes you feel like you’re one of his own. The latter of the two is a class that has my other favorite professor: Clive Craigen. This man will not only be the professor for many of my classes, but my academic advisor as well. (My major here is interdisciplinary, with a focus on Urban Ministry and a sub-focus on International Ministry). Clive is the advisor of all Urban Majors. I couldn’t feel more pleased. His theology is solid and similar to mine; he holds a go-with-the-flow policy, values experience over textbooks, and I know I’ll learn a lot through him. Like Dr. Sauer his personal life experience already wows me. In general the professors here are incomparable. I feel so blessed. They want and love to be here to pour into, pray for, and even learn from us. They each bring unique experiences and radical life stories to share. They make Moody a refreshing place to learn, challenge, and grow as broken humans. I’ve only experienced five of them so far, but I appreciate them so much. Who knew bible school would be such an amazing change? (Okay… I’ll admit… I kind of thought it might be! But- it has blown the roof off my, even high, expectations.)

Marah is coming for the weekend from Kentucky to stay with me over my birthday. I can’t wait until she arrives tonight =). I just have so many reasons to be joyful, I don’t even know what to do with myself.