#goodness

This week I sit purely immersed in the reality that I am - and have been - truly and deeply blessed.  Far beyond my deserving I have received good gifts, both tangible and intangible, from a Father who knows, sees and attends to my every need.

Tuesday was my 22nd birthday.  It was a day in which I took each stride with gratitude; unable to even comprehend the love and grace that I am constantly given.  I felt extremely special and intentionally loved.  I both laughed and cried with joy in the midst of precious moments with, and from, beloved people in my life.

In such celebration, I am reminded of just how intently people are watching me.  I am challenged, once again, to live above reproach and walk along paths of righteousness.  Being my own worst enemy, it is easy to dwell on the things that still need growth and change in me.  Yet the words that flooded my ears and filled the pages my eyes crossed this week were of sincere encouragement. 

The Lord seemed to pointedly use those around me to remind me of who I am becoming in Him; and that the becoming part is not only perfectly okay, but His very intention.  The truth of 2 Corinthians 3:18 came alive to me once more.  I see, more clearly, how far He has brought me and that He isn't yet finished.

I celebrate another year of life with eager anticipation of what's to come and a strong acknowledgement of where I have come from.  At a junction in which I expected to feel fear, I am embracing a Spirit of power, love and self-discipline.  I have learned the immensity to which I am dependant, and called to live in humility beyond humiliation or shame.  I confidently walk into a new season; not because of who I am, but because of who He is and what He has done.

In 4 Months I Graduate From College?

I have places where I go when I just need to be.  In every city I've lived in so far, I have unintentionally built landmark-alters of remembrance.  These are places I go to wrestle with life, have a good cry or just talk to God.  In Eau Claire it was a specific bridge downtown.  I would pace, or sit, or even lie down there during the messy times of life.  In Minneapolis it was Loring Park.  There is a little flower garden there with benches that seemed to invite me to fall apart.  I can't tell you, yet, where I go in Chicago except for that this season it has been a transformed place.  The first tears I cried there, this semester, were happy ones.

I write this to reflect on the fact that this is my final semester at Moody and in Chicago.  I write to admit that I never could have anticipated falling in love with this place like I have.  Experiences, circumstances and people here have changed me.  I sigh, knowing that I've begun to "grow up" in a place that has been both a safe battleground and a solid foundation.

I look ahead to this semester differently, with a new twinkle in my eyes and heart.  During my first trip to Chicago in November of 2009, I hurriedly scrambled for my camera when I saw the first "Chicago" exit sign and snapped this blurry picture:

I now look at it knowing it perfectly captured the essence of an unpredictable journey.  Not much has been in focus, but the excitement is evident again.  That same 'this is going to be good' feeling in my gut has returned.  If this is really the last year of the world, I guess I'm going out on a high!