November 22, 2009

Stepping Out, Standing Firm, and Chasing The Goose

I keep coming back to the same place of anxiousness over and over. It's really a matter of trust. A matter of trusting God is good, of trusting that He always has my best interest in mind, trusting He knows what he's doing, and trusting that when I follow I'm completely taken care of. All of this led me to dig in a little as to what the bible has to say about trust, and I came across some seriously interesting stuff, and so I thought I’d share…

The word “Trust” (including other forms of it, like trusting, trusted, trusts, trustworthy) appears in the bible* about 221 times. The exact word “trust” appears about 134 times, the phrase “trust in God” appears 7 times, “trust in him” appears 11 times, and “trust the lord” appears 12 times. The bible has a lot to say about trust. Interestingly enough, “trust yourself” never appears in the bible; not that I can find anyway. To me this blows the idea of letting yourself be led by God, out of the water!! Suddenly there’s an urgency to realize that it’s ever important that we realize the repercussions of trust. The written word has so much to say about it.

It seems that we start out living in trust; mostly because we don’t have a choice. We trust someone will feed us, teach us to walk, teach us to talk, respond to our cries, brush our hair, give us baths, and protect us. But then we grow up and we 'grow out', of trust. Somewhere along the lines, someone “fails” us, they let us down, they mislead us, abuse us, or use us. After that we generally don't trust again unless someone really earns it... Now in theory, this is just our protective, defensive nature at work. It can be healthy, and God-given. It can be a matter of guarding our heart even. I don't think it's always wrong to have caution with people, BUT it’s been breaking my heart lately that we wrongly apply this idea to God; at least I have stuck that on Him. I act as though He could let me down, as though perhaps He’ll make a mistake, and as though He won’t keep His promises.
Well, God doesn’t fail us. God won’t fail me.

In fact the bible has the exact phrase “unfailing love” between its covers about 121 times!! God continually shows this unmatched, unfailing love to His people. Even beyond that, the bible writes that God is love and love is God. That’s not coincidence, accident, or the writer’s confusion with words… God is unfailing. If we can’t trust Him for any other reason, this can be the one. He’s constant and solid. He’s consistent and intentional. He’s sovereign and for us. He’s never-ending and unfailing. He is trustworthy.

All this being said I’ve uncovered a type of courage within my heart that I never knew existed. Such confidence comes from taking the hand of my Father and stepping out to let Him lead me wherever He knows I need to be. I reference the phrase "Chasing the goose" in this title in correlation with a book I read this past summer entitled Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson; (a good read). It's within this book that following the lead of the Holy Spirit is said to be like chasing a wild goose. I'm now beginning to live that out, knowing to some it will look crazy; but I stand firm in the fact that nothing could be more rewarding than living in the adventure of obedience to a Creator that guarantees life to the full.


And so, all that being said, let me share something else… I will be going to Moody Bible Institute!

Now those of you who’ve been close to me during any part of the last nine months, know of my indecisiveness with life lately. I’ve searched and searched. I’ve even really started to dive into things and then pull out, just not feeling right about it. Some of them were even really “good” things. I had the chance to spend time serving God in Mexico, and be a part of a Master’s Commission in Fort Worth. (And this is not to say that God couldn’t have used me there). But this is different. I’m content, and even more I’m satisfied and excited. It feels like an invitation. It's actually just strange to me still. The whole thing has been orchestrated outside of my control, leaving me feeling like it's still all a little too good to be true. It’s not something I would have thought of or chosen for myself necessarily, but it’s a good fit.

Anytime change, especially big change, is about to happen… there is fear; and this is no different. I have my selfish fears. Fears of what my family will look like, fears of what my relationships will look like, fears about finances, etc. But above all, I'm going to trust; and most of all, trust that God is good. Beyond everything, I have new born courage and confidence that nothing could be more of a blessing. I’ve been praying for a place like this to fall in my lap for months, yearning for some place of my own, and starving for God’s will to be big for my life; and here it is, knocking at my door. Obstacles and challenges are to come, I know that, but so will joy. Walking in obedience means joy will come, blessings will come, and the Kingdom will come. He’s been preparing my heart, mind, and body for this; and now I’m all the more eager.




*My biblical counts and references come almost strictly from the New Living Translation, unless otherwise noted.
And some of my favorite references to trust that I came across include the following verses, in case you’re looking for some to read about:
Psalm 9:10, Psalm 28:7, Psalm 56:3, Isaiah 40:31, Ephesians 3:17, and Philippians 1:29.

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